Joshua Van Tassel

Last night around 11pm I saw something that I had restricted in my mind to happening only on Halloween in small towns. A group of 3 kids were throwing eggs at cars.
Now, I’m not one to condone this kind of delinquency ,
but these kids seriously needed some pointers on how to get away with a little bit of late night semi – innocent fun. For starters, they were SUPER drunk. Stumbling over each other, with a egg hit rate of about 25% which is just poor. Egging cars takes concentration, timing, and crack shot aim, and being obliterated doesn’t really help any of these traits.
Secondly, you need to find a good hiding spot somewhere a little of the road that you’re working with, and out of view of any cars that may stop. Our new friends, probably due to their drunkenness, decided that a good “hiding” spot would be behind a chain link fence that went up to their waists and was lining the side walk. Very, very stupid.
And why is that stupid? People bigger then you can easily jump over it. And that’s pretty much what happened. They egged a nice big looking truck that probably saw them pelting as he was coming along, he slammed on the brakes, jumped out took chase, and probably beat the shit out of a very drunk kid. You just can’t really do that kind of stuff in Toronto and expect to get away unscathed.

And a small piece of good news to finish my rant; some music from my first album One Window and the new ep ( which now has a release date of April 14th, I swear!! I have people working with me, and if I don’t have everything ready by then I’m in serious trouble) has been picked up to be used on the Outdoor Life Network show Departures. Once I get the episodes and stuff I’ll try and put them up here.

It’s a beautiful Sunday and I thought I’d go for a bit of a walk and see some sights. I ended up in the St. Lawrence market where I bought a tambourine, some fruit and held a really old really expensive harmonica. Here’s some of the sights and sounds of it ( the whole iphone picture thing is charming and all, but not really technically that good. Any photographers want to go for a walk and collect some city with me? You do the eye I do the ear? Email me….)

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Picture this -

Your friend is in a band. He or She is playing a show tonight and because you’re a supportive person and really like music you decide to go down and check it out. Before you do though, you decide “hey, what the hell. I’ll have a few beers before I go” and you call up a few other equally supportive friends to come over and share in the merriment.

As is known to happen with friends and beer, a few turns into 5 or 6 each, and you end up intoxicated. You then proceed to gleefully make your way to the bar where the show is happening, now in the perfect mind set to hear some music. You get to the bar, immediately see some other friends and quickly end up having a couple more beers and a shot from the guy who you bought a shot for the last time you were out ( which you don’t remember doing but you’re not supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth. They have ugly teeth.).

The next thing you know the band is sounding great and everyone’s having fun. The singer of the band announces it’s time for some audience participation and you feel those little drunk hairs stand up on the back of your neck. You’re ready. It’s time for the musician who you know is lurking somewhere inside of you to make it’s grand entrance into the entertainment world, and these lucky people are here to witness it.

“Any volunteers?” the singer asks. You’re not sure whether you count as a volunteer, because THIS IS YOUR PURPOSE, your calling, you HAVE to do this. You walk confidently towards the stage, or as confidently as you can at this point because you’re drunk as shit, and the singer sees you, smiles and hands you the tambourine.

THIS IS WHERE YOU NEED TO STOP AND THINK my drunk friend. I know that for many years we’ve been inundated with pictures of pretty blonde girls playing tambourine and looking like they’re having the best night of their lives, and that we think anyone can pick that tantalizingly jingle-ridden half moon and sound like Betty from the Archies, but it’s just not so. The problem with the tambourine is that not only is it rhythmically challenging, everyone can hear it no matter how loud the PA or how big the club. it’s at that magic frequency that the band can hear clearly and you can too, which essentially makes you the most important member of the band at that point.

Assuming you do take the tambourine and start to shake everything you have a really feel it, have a look at the drummer, he/she is going to let you know how it’s really going. You’ll see them -

1. Looking at you and smiling. This is good. Doesn’t mean you’re rocking it and should stand on his kick drum, but it means keep going, it’s sounding ok.

2. Staring at you blankly. This is bad. It means you’re pretty much just hanging on to keeping time by a thread and you reallllllllly should probably stop.

3. Staring a hole through his snare drum and swearing quite audibly. Yeah, that means you’re done and you should probably buy him/her and the bass player a drink. And stop. IMMEDIATELY. And never do it again.

Does this sound harsh? Does it sound like I’m being an asshole? Then you’ve never been the drummer while a very very drunk person stands next to you and beats the life out a tambourine in what not only feels like a different time signature, but a different god damned universe. It’s like trying to have a nice intimate conversation with friends while someone stands beside ou screaming racist remarks in your ear.

Here’s an example of some very drunk tambourine playing I heard the other night. The band is great though, but our friend on the jingle stick really needed to pack it in.

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This would be a Vice magazine Don’t.

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I wish I could write hit songs that hit and made me lots of student loan cash. Wouldn’t that be nice? Then I could take you out and buy you expensive jeans and a real good meal. I’d get my festiva pimped out too. As in I’d buy a giant purple hat and leather coat that fit over the whole body of it. yeah, that’d be nice.

Hello friends. It’s been a little longer then I like to wait between posts. I’ve been busy as usual though, don’t you worry about that. I managed to lose a mitten and 2 gloves, so now I have 3 lonely single hand warming devices. I also lost a great pair of headphones which made me very very sad. Anyway. I ran across this on college the other night and it was a nice little moment -

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It looks like I’m also in the beginning stages of a fun new recording project with my co-conspirator in ambient exploitation Joanna Borromeo. Her ep is almost done, and believe me, it’s going to hurt you in a good sore muscles-after-work-out type way.

As for my own ep that I said would be ready for Valentine’s Day…..yeah, sorry about that. The good news is that the mastering is today and the art work will be done probably Wednesday. I’m very excited for both of those things, I’m very lucky to have people in my life who are extremely good at these mystical and elusive arts. More on when it’s coming out this week.

And a self promoting ps, The Outlanders are at the Orbit Room tonight, 8-10. Come down and help me put a face to a google analytics statistic…..

I made music on my knees

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I found an empty bullet casing on my front steps……..that makes me a little worried…..where’s the bullet…

My living room now looks like a real live living room

I made a demo reel type compilation thing for some stuff………to be as specific as possible….

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I’m thinking of seeing the Watchmen at the IMAX tomorrow.

I’m playing with Josh Cockerill tonight at the Dakota.

I’m going to teach now. That’s all.

Hello friends, sorry for being MIA. I’m in the middle of trading roommates, and losing then gaining an internet connection that I actually pay for now. I had an amazing taste of Vancouver,Newfoundland, and a great time at the ECMA’s.I met tons of people and heard some amazing stories and sounds, but this pretty much sums things up in a 30 second clip. I miss it already.

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